Sunday, September 21, 2008

How to train for a triathlon in under 2 weeks

1. Sign up for the shortest route possible in the prettiest possible area with the smallest pool of competitors.
2. Convince yourself that holding back a paddling puppy in your neighbour's pool while drinking a beer is close enough to "training".
3. Ignore that part of the race (the run) that you hate most and pretend that it won't be included (and selectively do not train for it outside of playing basketball)
4. Sprain your achilles playing basketball.
5. Pack tape in your "transition zone kit" for your achilles - "just in case" - look at it during your transitions.
6. Ride your bike to work every day to make yourself feel better about this idiot move (almost 6 mi round trip - that's practically exercise, right?) and because you bike to work every day anyway
7. Remind yourself that you hiked Mt Whitney with no preparation and survived, forget about how much it hurt and how big of an idiot move that was.
8. RSVP for two parties the night before, forgetting that you will in fact not be in town at that time, explain to the hosts that you cannot go because you are doing a triathlon, make a weird face at them when they ask "how is your training going?"
9. Get new tires on your road bike, admire how pretty they are, continue riding your commuter bike to work because that's the one with the paniers full of work on it, admire the tires on the road bike hanging on the wall again.
10. Win first in your age group.

Hmmm - I guess doing triathlons is kinda like riding a bike, once you get the hang of it you don't forget how. Oh, and it's also riding a bike...


Heather said...

Yay! Congratulations!
So, not to belittle it or anything, but just how small was this pool of competitors?

Turned down two party invites-- pffft. Ms. Popularity or what? Rub it in for this poor stay-at-home Mom... ;)
PS Justin has been wearing his stegosaurus. Very cool, even if the earflaps are a little misaligned.

gnat said...

Ah well - only 72 competitors in the sprint event, and only 3 in my age group - but I was the oldest one of them!
I can't wait to see a photo of the cockeyed stegosaurus!!!

Anthony said...

How are you still standing?

Kilometres said...

You're awesome! Way to make the rest of us feel like sloths.

In the good news category for me, I'm able to exercise again; even went for a run yesterday. Things are looking up!

Oh, and my favourite line was easily "I guess doing triathalons is kinda like riding a bike, once you get the hang of it you don't forget how. Oh, and it's also riding a bike..."